A part of you
by WorldShakingRuka
Summary: Sailor Neptune dies during battle and the silver crystal revives her as a baby. Haruka and the other Outer senshi have their ups and downs bringing her up.
1. Chapter 1

"NEPTUNE!"

Sailor Uranus's desperate cry echoed in the empty street, alerting the other senshi. Her partner's body, clutched in a monstrous embrace by a powerful Daimon, was an indistinct bloody mess. The enemy looked like a giant, bloated green insect. Still, it could have been something else entirely. It was hard to tell in the dark of midnight.

There was something blood curdling and final about the gory picture that was the fallen sailor senshi. Head and limbs hung in unnatural angles. Dozens of poisonous green spikes, as long as she was tall, pierced Neptune from side to side, quickly dyeing her pale sailor fuku crimson. Saturn stared in shock while Pluto winced at the sight of her injured friend.

"WORLD SHAKING!"

The frantic attack flew across the pavement with devastating strength, destroying everything in its path before reaching the Daimon who stood in the crossroads. The creature fell heavily across the street with a horrible agonizing scream. Then it disappeared.

A praying mantis lay on the floor next to Neptune, its tiny body as broken as hers. An impossibly huge egg fell out of its minuscule host into to the floor. The shell broke in two pieces, letting out a dark, toxic smoke that evaporated within a second.

"NEPTUNE! NEPTUNE!"

Uranus jumped off a street light pole and ran towards her lover in desperation. A white light had appeared a feet above the fallen senshi. It danced and swirled, expanding more and more until it covered her mangled body. Then it shrunk, slowly at first yet, gradually faster until the young soldier was enclosed by a translucent cocoon of light.

Halfway across the city, Usagi's silver crystal woke her up. It was beating, resonating in time with an aqua haired dying girl. The future princess had been too fast asleep to feel it before, but it was clear now. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as realization hit her. Neptune was gone. They hadn't been close, of course, but the sensitive dumpling headed teenager cherished every single life on planet Earth. She wept and cried and begged for a different fate for the water senshi.

The light encasing Neptune's body shone brighter and brighter as it shrunk, way smaller than her original body size. It had become so intense, one couldn't see through it anymore; so small no one could have fit inside.

Sailor Pluto bent one knee to the ground, lowering her head in contrite respect for the fallen comrade. Saturn still stared in horror, her youthful mind unable to process reality.

The same was true for Uranus, who stood motionless in front of the blinding light. She wasn't screaming anymore. The shock was too great to lead to acceptance, or allow coherent thought for that matter. She just stared into the sun like shine that was hurting her eyes. Everything was too surreal for her to react.

Neptune had been alive and powerful a minute earlier, the bloody pulp engulfed by that luminosity couldn't possibly be related to her beautiful partner. It was too grotesque to be true. There wasn't a way to accept such a harsh truth without resigning all resemblance of sanity. Not for Uranus, at least.

Time seemed to slow down almost to a stop. The light once surrounding the water senshi's body began to fade. Eventually, it was reduced to a bulge the size of an obese cat and became translucent again, revealing a tiny baby sleeping among a mess of blankets. A thin layer of aqua fluff covered her newborn head as she floated in mid air.

Uranus's eyes widened in shock when being shaken even further seemed impossible. If she was still years from accepting her partner's death, this was certainly beyond her comprehension. Yet, she did understand deep inside, as it had happened before. Only this time it was only Neptune who was embarking on a new journey, not Saturn.

Yes. The wind senshi definitely connected the dots. She was smart enough. It was her emotions that were on hold, unable to catch up with the facts wrecking havoc in her head at full speed.

Instinctively, she extended her arms to receive the baby. Haruka had had enough practice raising reborn Hotaru to know how to properly hold a baby's head. Uranus did, still in awe at both the miracle performed by the silver crystal, and the perfectly beautiful infant cradled in her arms. Haruka had often fantasized about snatching Michiru's baby album from her apartment and sating her curiosity on that regard. Now she regretted ever making such a wish. This was definitely not how she had expected it to come true.

An overwhelming sadness washed over Uranus as realization sank in. Neptune had died. Michiru was gone, forever; leaving her to walk a lonely existence for as long as she stayed alive. She wanted to die. Nothing could ever make her feel ready to face such a fate.

Sure, Michiru had been reborn, as Hotaru had, but she was a baby now. Haruka instantly loved it unconditionally, beyond words, like everything related to the young musician, but it was a different kind of love, an innocent one. She wanted to protect that infant and make sure it never had a reason to cry.

It was somewhat comforting to have a piece of her lover back, but her future still held mainly hurt and solitude. No matter how she looked at it, Haruka would never see a partner in that child, even if it eventually grew up to have Michiru's memories. It would be too weird. The age gap would be too wide and just thinking about it made her feel sick.

Since death wasn't an option anymore, she swore to protect the baby with her life, bringing her forehead to the infant's to seal the deal. Her smell brought back memories of Hotaru and the time the four of them had spent together as a family. That was when the pain became truly unbearable.

Eventually, Saturn and Pluto approached quietly, trying not to disturb the grieving senshi. She was too absorbed in contemplation of the baby through her misty eyes to notice them. They gave her space to make her peace with Michiru's death. Pluto had seen many passings in her long, long life, but they always brought tears to her eyes. The very nature of her job filled her with guilt and helplessness.

After a while, Saturn's childish curiosity won over. She tentatively stretched a gloved hand towards the baby. That brought Uranus back to reality. The wind warrior proudly blinked away bitter tears and nodded to her once adoptive daughter.

Saturn caressed the infant's tiny fist with her own finger until Michiru, still fast asleep, instinctively wrapped her impossibly small hand around it. The younger senshi's smile brought fresh tears to Uranus's eyes and Pluto put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The fact that she didn't shake it away was proof of just how upset the woman truly was.

A few minutes later, the inner senshi finally arrived. Sailor Moon's loud, exaggerated crying preceded them, giving the outers time to put a decent distance between each other and recompose their faces. Pluto and Saturn were sober. Uranus was all defiance, from her stance to her expression. Fight or flight instincts finally kicking in.

"Oh, everyone! We are so sorry!" Sailor Moon moaned as more tears cascaded down her cheeks while she approached the older women. Her companions followed her a couple of yards behind, shedding tears of their own in a more dignified way. Pluto's expression softened as her eyes met the newcomers with the wisdom that age brings.

"You guys were fighting and we didn't even know." Sailor Moon whined. "We could have helped... this is so unfair!"

"Go back to bed. The battle is over. There is no use for you now. I'll take it from here." Uranus barked, directing all her hurt and frustration towards the inner senshi. Her nasty remark visibly hurt Sailor Moon, who broke down in sobs. Mercury and Mars hurried to her side, trying to reassure her in hushed tones. Saturn and Pluto exchanged a worried look. It wasn't like Uranus to exclude them like that. Not after all they had been through together in the past few years.

"We should give them some space." Mercury suggested to a still upset Sailor Moon. "Everyone needs some rest. We can talk this over in the morning. We'll meet you at the Shrine." Pluto agreed playing mediator. Mars nodded in approval, her awkwardness spreading throughout the group. Since when people invited themselves to somebody else's home? Still, the situation was too serious to care for good manners.

The air was still heavy with tension when the larger group left, leaving the grieving friends alone. After a silent exchange, Pluto and Saturn turned to Uranus only to find her gone with the baby.

"Do you think they'll be all right?" Saturn asked with genuine concern to an equally worried Pluto.

"Let's go home. They'll come back when they're ready. As usual."

With a nod, both women reverted back to their human forms and disappeared into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

The house was dark and quiet by the time Haruka brought Michiru back home. It was very late into the night. Dawn was still a couple of hours away when she slipped into the hall, carrying the child and an overstuffed plastic diaper bag. The baby was wearing a cheap green onesie under a tacky light blue teddy outfit. Still, it beat being naked under a huge blanket.

The newly appointed parent tried to sneak upstairs unnoticed when the lights suddenly turned on.

"That was reckless. It's too cold outside for a newborn and your convertible isn't suitable for infants." Setsuna scolded from the top floor, stopping Haruka in her tracks on her way up.

"You should have thought that before donating Hotaru's baby clothes to charity." Haruka retorted in no mood to deal with people. "Oh, and we were out of diapers, formula..." She went on dryly.

"Right. Too bad I wasn't foresighted enough to keep any around for baby number two." Setsuna spoke without thinking. "I'm sorry. That was unnecessary." She added a moment later, looking away in remorse, realizing it was a bad time to infuriate her room mate.

"Uh-huh." Haruka climbed the stairs on the way to the room she had shared with Michiru, but Setsuna was still in her way. If only she would take a hint! "I'm going to bed now." The blonde growled.

"I got up for a glass of water, but I'm wide awake now. You need to rest. I can take care..."

"Look, I don't wanna fight with you, so get out of my way before we both say things we regret."

Setsuna nodded and let her pass. Guilt tore her insides as her two friends disappeared into their shared bedroom. She could have stopped time, prevented that useless death, but it was her duty as time guardian not to interfere with the flow of life. Haruka wouldn't forgive her for it easily, she was well aware of that. Even if things appeared to go back to normal, she could expect the wind senshi to bring that back in an argument later on.

Haruka missed the meeting at the Hikawa Shrine. The house was empty when Hotaru and Setsuna returned, so they went about their business as usual. Only after dusk did the racer show up with the baby. This time, Michiru was wearing an elaborate designer's outfit much like the ones the couple bought for Hotaru in the past.

They found the older woman sitting on a sofa, sketching her new clothes collection while their adopted daughter worked on her homework, knelt beside the coffee table.

"You're back!" Hotaru exclaimed in delight, jumping to her feet and rushing to see the baby. "She is so adorable. May I hold her?" Her innocence disarmed Haruka's reluctance in a matter of seconds. Setsuna smiled pleased at the improvement.

"Wash your hands first. Don't kiss her face." The racer warned in a tired voice. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked absolutely beaten, to the point where her great posture had sagged into a permanent slouch.

"Hai!" Hotaru beamed racing to the bathroom.

"You're the very image of a new parent." Setsuna greeted her old friend. "Do yourself a favor and take a nap. I can handle a baby for two hours."

"She'll cry if I'm not around." Haruka said. It was better than admitting it was the other way around.

"Babies cry. She'll survive. _Go._ You're no good to her in this state."

Haruka hesitated one last moment before exhaustion won the battle. A resigned, bitter smile slowly bloomed ion her face.

"I'll just take a quick shower. Could you unload the car for me?" Setsuna nodded. "I bought her new clothes. The stuff I got at the drugstore last night was too rough on her skin."

"Not to mention hideous."

The comment made Haruka chuckle, though she still felt seconds away from an emotional break down. The racer had been in such a state the whole day, alternating between grief and that soothing baby smell that filled her with hope for a new beginning for Michiru.

She handed a sleeping Michiru over to Hotaru, who had just come back from the toilet smelling like the floral hand soap the musician loved. No. She couldn't stay there pretending fate was beautiful anymore: she needed to curl up in bed.

"Thanks." Haruka muttered clumsily before leaving the living room, all hostility momentarily forgotten in the face of graver matters.

Upstairs, the bedroom she and her lover had shared, was full of memories of the aqua haired beauty. From her perfumes and cosmetics in front of the dressing table, to the curtains they had chosen together, and the sheets they had slept under, just hours before the Daimon encounter... not to mention the pictures in the handful of mother of pearl frames scattered across the room.

Michiru's robe hanging on a chair, made it clear Haruka wouldn't be able to live like that for much longer. Halfway to the bathroom, she turned around and made a few quick changes to the place, in an attempt to make the loss more bearable. Make up and creams were swiftly packed into the dressing table's drawers, along with several other shenanigans. Scattered clothes were thrown into the closet, sheets changed and Hotaru's spare drapes hung instead of those filled with bittersweet memories.

Only when the place was more neutral did she dare to step into the shower. Her lover's teal robe being the only item kept around out of sentiment. Haruka remembered her mother leaving a sweater behind, to symbolically hug her during her absence every time she left on tour. That was exactly the comfort her soul craved for.

Haruka woke up with a start, hours later. The wind was wild outside. It shoved the blue shutters against the walls over and over again, straining her nerves. Michiru's sleepy voice begging her to close them, still echoed in her ears. She opened the windows to fix the problem and smelled the brine scent of the sea as the wind messed with her hair.

A storm was brewing. You could almost smell the electricity in the air.

She went down to the kitchen, where her two room mates were taking turns making dinner and distracting the baby, who was overseeing everything from a car seat on the central marble island counter. It took the racer a moment to remember the previous night's events, and connect them with the domestic picture in front of her.

"You didn't wake me up." She complained.

"Michiru was asleep and you looked in dire need of some serious rest." Setsuna said.

Haruka winced at the name. She wanted to protest but her emotional strength was still too depleted to start an argument.

"Are you hungry?" Setsuna asked in a motherly tone. Haruka nodded. "Dinner will be ready shortly."

"I'll feeed the baby." Haruka announced.

Hotaru handed over the formula bottle she had been preparing. Haruka took it and the baby into the winter garden. It had a beautiful view of the sea, which made it one of Michiru's favorite spots although she never cared much for potted plants, however beautiful the ones Setsuna kept were.

While Michiru sucked away, oblivious to the world like every newborn, Haruka began to hum absently. Her mind was miles away, in a deserted private beach they had visited the previous year.

With both schedules full of concertas and races, the lovers hadn't seen much of one another in weeks. The combined efforts of both their managers, had made sure things would remain that way for another month, placing each woman in a different city for the busiest part of the season.

Renting a secluded cabin, halfway between both locations for the three days their down times overlapped, was pure genius. Only Michiru could have planned such a perfect romantic getaway, although she had claimed it was Haruka who made it memorable.

All those picnics and long walks by the sea the musician had been looking forward to, were cancelled due to a violent storm that kept the couple cooped up inside the whole time, much like the one brewing outside the outer senshi residence.

The racer had come up with a couple of get-to-know-you games to pass the time between pampering her with massages and bubble baths. In the end, the experience had brought the two of them closer than any number of walks and picnics would have.

That's where Haruka's mind sought shelter from reality, as her former lover dozed off to sleep after her meal. A powerful thunder woke up the baby with a start. Michiru's cry brought her brand new guardian back from daydream land. She tried to calm the baby, but none of the usual tricks worked with her. Perhaps her personality was too different from Hotaru's, or maybe there was something else wrong with her.

Haruka double checked. The child was fed, her diaper fresh, and she didn't seem to have colics. Out of ideas, the racer started to sing softly as she rocked her. After all, whenever she got carried away fixing her bike and started to hum, the painter used to stop whatever she was doing to listen.

 _Kikanaide kure doko kara kita no ka  
Furenaide kure kono kizu ni  
Yurenaide kure nakushita kinou ni  
Tomenaide kure sore ijou_

Like the woman before, the baby stopped crying, soothed by the familiar tune. Her tiny hand grabbed the fabric of Haruka's shirt as her head rested on the older woman's shoulder. She cooed and yawned, suddenly looking like the picture of perfect innocent happiness.

"If you're going to be this whimsical, I'm so screwed!"

Michiru cooed again.

"Right. Language. Sorry."


End file.
